NY State Politicians Tackle the *Really* Tough Issue…of Cider

This post is somewhat off-topic and purely for your entertainment purposes. We’re near the end of a legislative session here in New York State–you know, the state where 4/5 of the state, known as “Upstate,” is in economic poverty with job and population losses year after year. Our intrepid governor, Andrew “The Ditherer” Cuomo is hard at work with lawmakers (before heading off to the Hamptons for the summer). They’re trying to figure out how to improve the lives of all serfs New York residents, especially those losers in Upstate.

Would an immediate influx of thousands of jobs and billions of dollars of investment from drilling in shale deposits be one of the things our hardworking politicians are discussing to, you know, improve the lives of Upstaters, especially farmers? Nope. Not even on the table. Instead, they’re fiddling around with legislation to allow farmers to make up to 150,000 gallons of hard cider a year (using NY apples of course)–presumably to keep them drunk so they won’t notice their property rights have been confiscated and they’re about to lose the family farm…

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